Everyone Was Here: an Erotic Smash Bros Story
by mangoreptiles
Summary: This fanfiction is a joke, but an elaborate one at that...


Everyone Was Here: an Erotic Smash Bros. Story

By Bagel, Yespacito, & Bucko Bee

'Twas the night before Christmas, and an excited Bagel was enjoying his new Nintendo Switch + Smash Ultimate bundle he had received just a few days prior, as his Grandma had overdosed on meds and forgot which day of the month it was. Bagel was having fun imagining himself fucking Zero Suit Samus and having Isabelle as his sexy pet dog when suddenly Yespacito DMed him via Discord, asking if he had Smash Ultimate. Bagel answered 'yes', so Yespacito didn't hesitate to send him his Switch friend code.

They played a few 1v1s and fought against others online. However, after about sixty-nine minutes Yespacito began to get bored. After this, he spiced it up by adding six other level nine CPUs on the battlefield at the same time to smash the dynamic duo even harder. Nonetheless, eventually even this became insufficient for Yespacito. That was when he had a stroke of genius to call his old friend Bucko Bee to play some Mario Kart. The three played online together as a team. However, because Bucko did not have Nintendo Switch Online (because he is a fucking bee), he had to leech off of Yespacito's subscription. And because Yespacito lived in Europe, they only played in European lobbies, and thus always won because Europeans are pussies and just suck at games in general.

They ground until they all, even Bucko (who sucked ass at the game) had 99,999 VR. They had won every championship, every tournament, every battle, & every race. However, at some point even this became boring. But that was when Yespacito remembered that Bagel lived somewhere in Connecticut, only 69,420 kilometers from where he lived! He quickly called up Bagel to inform him that he would be coming to his house for Christmas dinner to "smash" with him. Bucko also decided to come over so he just logged off Roblox, magically appeared at Yespacito's house, & flew with him. However, poor Bagel didn't quite understand exactly what Yespacito meant by 'smash'. Little did he know he was in for a big surprise…

After an eleven-hour flight over the Atlantic and a painfully long seventeen hour wait in Hartsfield-Jackson Airport (because Georgia sucks ass, which is why it makes sense that Logix lives there) to catch the plane to Connecticut, Yespacito and Bucko finally arrived at the donut residence. They knocked on the door, and were to be answered seconds later by the man, the myth, the legend. Bagel himself. Yespacito almost had a heart attack as his eyes burned from Bagel's sexiness; his bangs flying in the wind, and his fringe still less flat than Yespacito's girl's chest. Bucko was very tempted to fuck Bagel, but remembered what happened to his cousin Riley Bee so he hesitated. "Come in!" Bagel said in his high pitched voice, deceiving of his sixty-nine pack of abs below his Patagonia coat. Bucko and Yespacito entered the house and sat down at the table with Bagel's family, who for whatever reason seemed completely oblivious to the fact that two strangers; some random bloke from Discord who, considering what he had sent Bagel, might as well be a pedofile, and a six foot long anthropomorphic insect, had abruptly stormed uninvited into their home for dinner.

They all ate up quick, and after eating a tasty dessert of NWO brand almond milk-flavored ice cream, they were dismissed from the table and ran upstairs to Smash together. Bagel plugged his Switch into the TV and started up SSBU, but Yespacito and Bucko gave him a peculiar look. They clearly had something else in mind. Puzzled, Bagel attempted to figure out what exactly his friends wanted, but his poor, innocent 12.69 year old mind was unable to catch what exactly they meant by "smash" as it flew over his head.

Finally, he gathered the courage to speak to them. "Why are you guys looking at me like that? You guys flew across the ocean to play this game with me, right?" Bagel questioned. Bucko Bee then sighed. "Er, well Bagel… When we said 'smash', we weren't exactly talking about that game.", he said with a somewhat seducing look in his cobalt blue eyes. "It's tough to tell you this, but basically, we want to have sex with you." Bucko proceeded to tear off his ugly Christmas sweater that Yespacito had bought him at the airport & revealed his seven inch bee unit as he slathered honey on it. He then pantsed Yespacito in a slow, arousing way, revealing his 6.9 gigameter-long member.

Bagel did not want to miss out for one more second. He could not help himself as the force from his growing boner ripped through his pants, revealing his luscious four-hundred-and-twenty inch-long massive magnum monster dong. Bucko Bee grabbed Bagel's iPad & propped it up to record the epic scene that was about to go down. Then, the three started to fuck. Yespacito went first. He drove his massive drill straight into Bagel's doughy ass. It slowly lurched it's way up Bagel's rectum as Bucko ferociously slapped Bagel's unit with his wings, slowly rubbing it & squeezing it as warm pre-cum dripped out.

Bagel's heart began to pound violently. His dick needed something to stick itself into so badly that it began elongating beyond what was considered human. In an alien-like way, Bagel's cock stretched around the room like Jake the Dog in that one episode of Adventure Time where Finn and Jake go through that maze and get an ancient psychic war elephant or something. It stretched and stretched until it finally came into contact and inserted itself into Bucko Bee's nice, tight kawaii ass. As Bagel's elastic-dick stretched its way around inside Bucko's ass, Bucko became so aroused that he just had to do the same to Yespacito. The bee's dick began to stretch, and soon his wet bee banana squeezed itself into Yespacito's tight ass. Now, each of the 3 had their dicks in each other's ass, creating a magic circle of pleasure. They congad around the room and ran in circles like a fidget spinner, deeply penetrating each other's rectums all the while.

Suddenly, King K. Rool burst through the wall like the Kool Aid Man & wailed like the warning sirens on the shores of Japan during the 2011 tsunami in Sendai. "WHAT IS UP, BITCHES!?", he yelled, with Lancer Deltarune's theme also playing loudly in the background. "This shit right here is just warm ups! Somebody 'ought to teach you how the big boys bang each other!", he exclaimed. He snapped his fingers, and moments later, two of his Kremlings burst additional holes in the wall, wearing lewd panties, and more ready to fuck than ever. Their juicy, kawaii cocks blew and bounced rhythmically in the wind, as did King K. Rool's huge crocodile man tits. "LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!", caterwauled King K. Rool as he began to insert his dick into the circle. To add to the chaos, Donkey & Funky Kong burst through the wall seconds later and joined in too as they arousingly licked all of the members of the circle. Meanwhile, King K. Rool was ordering his Kremlings to deliver grade A++ gorilla oil lube to the gang bang as Bucko gathered some star treats & moon charms. They all took a break to apply the lube & eat the treats during the last break they would have during their sex.

After their break, they were all banging each other delightfully when out of nowhere Yespacito pulled out a fucking megaphone and yelled "EVERYONE STOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!" This scared the living shit out of everyone, scaring Bagel so hard that he miraculously defied the laws of human biology by pissing and cumming at the same time in his Bucko Bee's tight ass. Yespacito climbed on top of a chair & spoke. "Guys, how can we possibly bang like this? It's so boring and plain! We need some hot music to spice things up a bit!" Being the music enthusiast that he was, Yespacito always demanded background music for every single occasion in his life, and this was no exception. Trusting Yespacito, the gang obliged. Bucko Bee handed his iPhone and HD 1000+ decibel Bluetooth speaker over to Yespacito without words. Donkey Kong's face lit up as he heard his favorite earrape YTP version of the DK rap being blasted at volumes beyond what was considered safe for the naked ear. "OH YEAH!" screamed Funky Kong, clearly aroused by this music. He began running around the room and making autistic noises until he eventually stopped to slap Donkey Kong's massive boner with his special edition carbon fiber surfboard. The beautiful sight of the Kong's broomstick swaying back and forth only further aroused the gang as their dicks grew 3 sizes bigger.

Soon after, more of their friends such as Gummy Bear, Mario, Bill Kerman, Geronimo Stilton & Wilson the Photon Bee began to show up. Some of them were even females, like Susie Deltarune, Jaiden Animations, Logan Ashlock & Crimson Bee, making the gang bang slightly less gay. Eventually, Bagel's house became too full to remain undetected, & so the group had had to relocate to the forest… The same forest where Bagel & Riley Bee had fucked a mere three months earlier. Mario brought fireballs to provide a hot & spicy experience to the combatants. Gummy Bear, also being the commandant of a large army brought potent gumdrops & glue that made the gorilla oil lube thick & sweet. However, the cold slowly began to knip at the bare skin of the 69+ memelords, so Bowsette breathed fire on Woody's wood to make a nice, warm campfire for the gang. Everyone formed a massive sex conga around Woody's burning dick, and all seemed sexy and splendid.

Well, that was the case until K. Round shook his humongous checker dick a bit too hard, accidentally coming into contact with Woody's flaming wood, then ricocheting in the other direction, hitting a tree and setting it on fire. Fleeing for their lives, the gang quickly ran into Gummy Bear's secret cave where they could be safe from the impending forest fire. However, Gummy Bear, being the drunk sack of shit that he was, had forgotten to pay his monthly heating bills, and so the cave became freezing cold. But then, thanks to his IQ of 135, Bagel devised a brilliant plan. "Guys, wait!", he yelled as he tried to get the group's attention. "If the fire department is busy putting out that fire, then we could sneak into the fire station and gang bang there!" The group was awed by Bagel's amazing plan. Their lord and savior Bagel had once again succeeded in being great & saving the party. The group left the cave one by one and scurried through the dark like WWII prisoners of war escaping from a Nazi prison camp in the black of the night. Eventually, they all made it safely to the empty & warm fire station garage.

They all resettled & began normal operations. However, after some time Woody began to melt away as the fire from his pp reached his cotton & plastic outfit. They could only watch as he quickly melted into ash & disintegrated as if Thanos had snapped his fingers. Inkling girl attempted to quench the flames with her ink, but that only made the fire burn stronger and dissolve Woody's skin faster, due to the fact that the ink was also highly corrosive. There was nothing left to do, because the force of any fire hose would just shatter Woody in to 69,000 smoldering pieces. But then Woody remembered that he was just a toy and wasn't at all sentient, so that made everybody feel a bit better.

They continued fucking with each other all through the night, going from partner to partner like a desperate weeb during a middle school dance. From 69 to missionary, from reversed to one on one, the gang really did have a fun time. However, sometime during the height of the party, at around 4:20 AM, Monika from Doki Doki Literature Club became desperate for Bagel's love, so she started hacking the brains of all the other characters and deleting them. This, combined with the lingering stench of urine, chloroform and alcohol in the air, sunk the party into absolute insanity. People were destroying the house, hanging themselves, and some even outright murdering each other. The party members were dropping like flies.

Serious shit was going down, yet one individual at the party still remained unaffected, and that was none other than Sans Undertale. Monika had failed to hack his brain, and instead she had received a Bad Time™ as a result of attempting to do so. Sans knew he had to stop this chaos. He quickly reached for his bag and pulled out his legendary pee needle. He boldly stuck it into passed out party members and drained the pee straight from their balls. He began to perform spells with their pee, chanting inaudible skeleton language while sat in the middle of a pentagram shaped like Markiplier's face.

After what seemed like 69 hours, the spells finally worked, restoring everyone's brains & lives as well as producing enough energy to send Monika right back to the reality where she belongs, probably talking at MC until the end of time. However, before they could leave, the party realized they had left the fire department as well as Bagel's house in ruins, with pee, shit, blood, and semen staining the buildings.

Many of the people at the party disappeared without a trace, to afraid or lazy to face the mess they had made. Luckily, some of the participants were willing to stay behind and help clean up. However, despite the noticeable lack of manpower they managed to clean the place up until it was better than when they had entered. Not a speck of dust or cobweb was spared. King K Rool also took some time to fix the wall in Bagel's house after he made huge fucking holes in it.

After all was said and done, everyone said their tearful goodbyes. It had been one hell of a night, a great one at that (except for that one megalomaniac anime bitch), and none of the friends at the party would forget the pleasant experience of staying up all night to mass fuck each other. Bucko Bee & Bagel were so sad about leaving each other that they decided to live with each other from then on. Yespacito even stayed with them for a few days after the "Smash Tournament". The three played on the Nintendo Switch together, wrote fanfics (including the one you are reading right now), worshipped Geronimo Stilton and generally had a fun time, until eventually, even Yespacito had to fly back to wherever the hell he lives.

One night, as usual, Bagel and Bucko Bee got into bed together, but Bucko couldn't help but feel lonely.

"Bagel?" he asked.

"Yes?"

"Do you really love me?"

"Of course! No homo!"

"Well, in that case..."

…

"Wanna smash, bro?"

Bagel smiled.

"Of course bro!"

And that, my friends, is the story of how 2 kids & 1 sentient bee playing Nintendo Switch games turned into a chaotic yandere sex party. There were at least 420 people in the fire station that night. Really, truly, the message of "Smash" began to set in. Because, really, truly, EVERYONE was there.

The end.

Sub to PewDiePie.


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